…I posted yesterday about Bloomberg’s long investigative piece about the wealth of Xi Jinping’s relatives, ‘Xi Jinping Millionaire Relations Reveal Fortunes of Elite’: Bloomberg.
*習近平(Xi, JinPing), is the guy slated to be China’s next President, once the current President, 胡錦濤(Hu, JinTao) steps down.
So, Chinese internet censorship officials don’t want you to find out how much the President-to-be’s family makes? Well, why exactly are they censoring the internet in the first place? In this globally-connected economy, in which the threat of recession is always just around the corner, we need to take proactive measures, and cut down on government expenditures –like government censorship. FILL THE INTERNET WITH NAKED WOMEN! Why? Because when people are watching naked women, they won’t ever have time to worry about how much 習近平’s family makes. They’ll be like, “習近 who? Why are you in my way?! THERE ARE PRETTY GIRLS ON THE INTERNET!”
Don’t believe naked women have such power to stop people from doing things? Well, let’s move away from the virtual realm, and move into a real-world example…
The Incident: After Causing Accident, Female Driver Strips Naked, Blocks Paramedics, and Wrestles Down Injured Little Girl
June 17th, in Shandong’s Linyi City Lanshan District, a mother and daughter pair were hit by a speeding car and sent flying, causing the death of the 4-year-old daughter and severely injuring the mother, who even after rescue is still in life-threatening condition.
After the accident, residents dialed 120 [the Chinese paramedics number]. When the ambulance arrived, something shocking happened…
The female driver responsible for the accident took off all her clothes, and blocked the ambulance from driving into the residential neighborhood to commence rescue.
The paramedics, being left no choice, could only get out of the ambulance and go in on foot, whereby they then carried the little girl to the ambulance.
At this time, the female driver responsible for the accident suddenly got up and yanked the little girl from within the ambulance down to the ground, preventing her from being taken to the hospital.